Stop Hating on Women

End Violence Against Women

A few people I know seem staunch in weirdly defending women. They come up and get loud when someone they think is transgender, identifying as a woman, has somehow usurped another woman. This usually revolves around sports.

Fairness. I have a strong desire for our world to be fair. I don’t know how exactly we identify it in all the ways. I keep thinking of weight and skill classes in things like wrestling or tennis. In wrestling, the boys (because when I went to school, girls weren’t usually wrestling) “make weight,” and you fight against other people in your weight class. In tennis, you are ranked in your team from best to worst, singles first, then doubles. So, the best player on your team is the #1 singles player. I played #2 or #3 doubles in junior varsity when I finished playing in high school. We played other pairs ranked like us. So, it was a skill for skill. Sometimes we lost, sometimes we won. It was set up to be as fair as possible. My partner and I sometimes had an excellent game and beat our opponents. Sometimes, the games were closer. Sometimes we got our asses handed to us. But, it was set up to be as fair as possible.

I think my sister got to play #1 doubles. So, her skill level far outpaced mine. (She had a killer serve that could slice your ear off if you weren’t careful.) I don’t recall getting mad that her skill level was far above mine. (A little jealous, sure, but not mad.) I don’t remember getting angry at the #1 singles player that their skill level was so far above mine that I was pissed they took something away from me. The emphasis was that we were a team, and we were all playing to win more points for our team so we could win the whole match.

Something weird is happening in sports where people are getting fussy about the nuance of sex and if someone deserves to be in a spot based on their perceived sex. And if that perceived sex isn’t what they think it should be, then they are cheating.

And, what it ends up being is more policing of women’s bodies.

Haven’t we had enough of this? Aren’t women policed enough in our world? So, these same people who are getting all up in arms defending women ultimately are just defending policing women’s bodies for the sake of women. They are trying to protect us somehow by doing gross and cruel things to other women, forcing them to prove they are women.

Seriously?

Since a few of these people trying to protect women are men, I felt it necessary to remind ourselves.

Who, you might be wondering, is a danger to women?

Men.

That’s right - 1 in 3 women suffer from sexual violence. 1 in 4 women suffer from abuse from an intimate partner. During COVID, violence against women intensified. If these men were seriously concerned with protecting women, they should police their own sex. They should stop policing other women and start looking inward at themselves and getting other men to stop being violent towards women.

Otherwise, we have a super weird scenario where folks are saying they are trying to protect women while ignoring the real threat: men.

I shared this with a friend, and they said, “Whoa, this is pretty unfair to men.” Then they said they’d been reading more about the aspiration of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine.

About seven years ago, I saw that to change our world, women needed to dramatically, worldwide, take charge of their own healing journeys. I saw clearly that in order to heal our world, we needed to heal women first. I saw the aspiration of the Divine Masculine. And I do believe that this is the right and correct aspiration.

And I also see the wage gap. And I see the rise in domestic violence that happened during COVID, and I see so many men not engaging in their own healing journey. And, I think it’s vital to name when thinking about the harm that is often caused to women; it frequently stems from men. And I want to talk openly about that because when I look at the news cycle, it seems to be a lot of men talking about protecting women, but they don’t talk about the harm men as a whole cause women.

I need men to stop hating on women. I need women to stop hating on women. Especially when it’s in the name of women because it’s a lie and a copout. While I may not fully understand the motivations beyond power and control for hating on women, I do know this must stop. The violence, the false pretenses. We must be honest about who is doing the most harm to women (men), and we must all work on our healing journeys if we desire to see the merging of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine.

I need white men to wake up and realize their role in the problem of perpetuating this world that is hurting so many.

PS

As stated above, I shared this with a male friend, and they were dissatisfied with my take on this. They agitated it was toxic masculinity that I’m really frustrated with. I appreciate that. And I believe there is something where just how I want women to take control of their own healing journeys to model emotional development and maturity to those around them, especially their kids… Just like that, I want all men to take responsibility for the collective burden men have on women and work with each other to actually heal through. And not a men’s rights group that just works to inflate their already large and yet still fragile egos.

PPS

I started writing this during the Olympics when the Alergian boxer was accused of being a trans woman (she is not). She was fighting in the women’s contest. So, a woman’s body was being judged. There was a trans man in a weightlifting competition, and that person was never judged. We judge and harm women’s bodies, and men (and particular bigoted authors) collectively need to own their role in that horror.

Resources

UN Statistics: https://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/ending-violence-against-women/facts-and-figures

National Domestic Violence Hotline Statistics: https://www.thehotline.org/stakeholders/domestic-violence-statistics/

World Health Organization Statistics: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-against-women